Yesterday my kids and I went to wish my ex-mother-in-law a happy birthday and bring her some gifts. My 10 year old son with Aspergers was completely indifferent to her while we were there. I think he may have said one word, Porygon 2, when I asked him to tell what he bought with his allowance. We visited for a while as we stood by my van parked on the street in front of her house. She had returned home just as we had pulled up to her house.
My daughter and I had a pleasant visit with her grandma and one of the cousins that lives with them who is entering high school. About half way through the visit, I guess my son got bored and simply got in the van and shut the door. No good bye, no hug, no well nice seeing you happy birthday. It made me feel as though I needed to apologize for his lack of social graces but his grandma understood.
I’m sure those of you who have children with Aspergers find this a familiar story. My son is pretty good with people he knows well such as his one good friend from school or some kids at church. Unfortunately when he is around people he does not know very well (he doesn’t see his grandparents very often even though they live close by), he isn’t very verbal. This is not a trait he displays at home though, he will ramble on and on about his favorite things. I am learning a lot about Club penguin this summer. In fact he is very interactive with the online friend group he has made there.
So my point to all of this is to really make people aware that Aspie’s don’t mean to be rude or indifferent, they just have a lack of social skills. In some cases, they can seem to be as normal as the next kid (ah what is normal) but in other instances they may seem odd. Please don’t judge them or think them odd. It’s just they have their own way of thinking and doing. They can be just as amazing as any other child on the planet and if you invest the time to get to know them you will be pleasantly surprised at what they have to offer.
1. March 2011 at 12:44 pm
Hi,
Just wanted to let you know, there has been several occasions where my son (AS/ADD) has decided not to come in the house at his grandparents who don’t see him very often. I almost laughed bc your son reminded me of mine.
He is the same way not very social unless about his favorite things, current obsessions, pokemon, yugioh, dinosaurs, whatever it is at the time.
How is you son at school? Mine totally against it unless it is something he is interested in, like science. Does not like LA unless stories are about his favorite subjects.
4. March 2011 at 10:06 am
Thank you for your comment. My son is so-so at school. He’ll say he has “friends” but then again no one calls or comes by except one boy. He has been in the same school most of his life except for one year. He’s in 5th grade now. He goes back and forth with being bothered about not having friends but he is so into his computer and Club Penguin right now that it is practically his whole world. Sometimes he’ll switch up to reading or DS or Wii or family play. I have deep concern about how things will be when he gets into jr. high. There are some kids who have teased him and told him he can’t play with them and that he is weird and I just go straight the the Vice Principal with that. He is making an effort to be social and be included and they need to be more understanding. He has asked on occasion to be home schooled but I am worried that that would make him even less social so I haven’t really given that much thought. I’ll see how things go when jr. High comes around.